...aint a woman alive that can take my mama's place

..there are so many times looking back when I was so afraid, and then you come to me and say to me I can face anything. I always use a lyric to title my blog and use a different one as an opening sentence or phrase because music is a great way of expression and communication. With 99 days left until I graduate from the Illustrious North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University, I was thinking about all that my mom and dad have done for me these 4 years. I also thought about who was missing during these 4 years and how they have crawled through the wood works with their expressions of happiness for this supposed success. I also thought about all those people who hated me for being different than them and made funny remarks because I talked proper, and wore my clothes a certain way, and even because I wasn't black enough because i wanted to educate myself and not be a product of my environment. All those people are saying to me today, "I am soooo proud  of you" and "Wow didn't that time fly by" or "I always knew you were going to make it" but why be proud when its convenient? You're so proud of me but you never pick up the phone to tell me happy birthday...this time flew by but not once did you ask my parents if they needed help to pay for tuition and you just knew i would make it but always made broken promises about what you wanted to do for me! I never asked anyone for a handout and neither did my parents because they worked hard to pay for me to go to school and they worked even harder to prepare me for life after May 7, 2011. I wish sometimes, that I could tell these people that i knew i would make it without you. I want them to know God made a plan for me and no where in it was their name. I just want to ask them..why do you hate me so much for doing everything you couldn't do? Why do you hate the people in my life they sacrificed so i could be better? Why do I have to be the bigger person all the time because you still don't know how to be? On graduation day...I really wish some of these people would just tell my mother thank you! Thank you for providing me with the best life possible...Thank you for showing me God..even though we don't call him by the same name. She did all those things going past her call of duty. I appreciate her and all that she continues to do because she is the best example to me, along with my grandma! I really cant explain how much i absolutely love my grandmother. She really is one of my best friends and she would give me her last penny if it could ensure my a greater life. She lives to make her grandchildren and children and daughters in law better and no one could ever take her place. But on May 7,2011...i just hope and pray everyone can show appreciation for who got me where i am..i don't want the praise and the well wishes. Thank them for allowing me to get here. [signed Peyton Blake..appreciative]