Because I Am A Queen

But I learned to love myself unconditionally!  

Simply Put India!

I decided to use this video because I was staring at myself in the mirror and a year later, I cant believe I cut all my hair off and started all over. I had hair the length of my pinky... cut in half.

And now, if stretched out, it reaches the end of my neck. I <3 my natural hair! Having natural hair has allowed me to focus on other things besides my hair even though it takes much maintenance. I do like to apply makeup but I dont rely on it. I like to focus on my beautiful eyes. I never noticed them or my full lips because I was too focused on my chemically enhanced straight hair. 

I still focus on my kinky curls by using different shampoos and conditioner once the previous is finished. I have found some products that I love using like Organix "coconut milk" conditioner because it brought out my natural curl and it smelled really delicious. I also like garnier fructis. It too brings out my curl and smells very nice but I really dont know why. LOL I mean its made for the white woman (I think) but it works so well in my thick, untamed, mind of her own, hair. Lastly, a product I bought from a health food store randomly called "beautiful curls" is something I use each time I wash my hair and its a shea butter sculpting wax and it does wonders. It keeps my curls in tact for days under the wildest circumstances. I try to use as least as possible because I dont know if I will ever find it again.

When it comes to makeup, I LOVE colossal lash and Falsies by Maybelline! I use them both to make my lashes appear longer and.... false. But oh so real! I use covergirl lash blast on my eyelashes to make them darker and fuller also so enhance the arch. Many times I am found with eyeliner on the bottom of my eye but I use blue eye shadow for my eyeliner. LOL... depending on where I am going, I will use my Victoria Secret blush because it has a slight glitter finish creating the illusion of higher cheek bones (might just be in my mind) haha.. but nonetheless I love it. I wear foundation but not often. Only for special events or occasions. Lipstick, I wear a soft pink by MAC followed by a nude gloss by Victoria Secret. Everything I put on is very natural, nothing over the top. 

Unless I wear my red lipstick *wink*

No matter what I am wearing...I will always be

Me <3

Raising a Toast to Me

You got everything, tell me what it feels like! This is my first post of the new year  so it will be my diary entry.. and I wanted to reflect on the blessings from previous years and speak into existence the manifestation of my wildest dreams for 2012 and beyond. 

IN 2011the grand finale made everything all worth it.

So worth it that...It lay the foundation for the rest of my life.

I can do anything and nobody can tell me otherwise THE END.

Sometimes I dream bigger than I live.

My dreams are written on paper 

and I know Im gonna real life them.

F A I T H

I will get my Masters very soon and that will solidify that

the world belongs to me.

Its nothing or no one I cant have.

I understand my worth and I know Im the best of His creations.

C O N F I D E N C E

Everybody should have it, I have more than enough

C O M P L I M E N T S

I get enough

C O N V I N C E D

I want it All

"The Bandwagons full but you can try and run behind it"

01.01.12

RanDumb Thought

I have picked this song because I think it is so beautiful and it inspired me to write this new entry. When I hear this song, I think about the person who will make me question my love for them and ultimately the love i have for myself and how strong the foundation is.

Through the shake of an earthquake, I will never fall. Thats how strong my love is.

But let us think about why we havent found someone to feel so strongly about. I can only speak through experience and the things I have witnessed. 

1. You are too strong! 

Ease up a bit. You dont have to walk around with your black power fist raised every day. Rest your pretty little hand and rest it in the hands of another. You dont have to always feel like the world is against you.

2. You are angry as HELL!

I totally agree that we have something to be angry about but life isn't that bad. Just be happy that you can be happy. I know it feels like you have dealt with some people you wish you hadn't, and you wish you never dedicated so much time on some people but you learned something from that situation... right?

3.You have slept with more people than you have toes and fingers!

No one wants to be with someone who anyone can have. That goes for men and women. I know you cant change what you have done but you can change for the better. Stop allowing the devil to settle on the best part. You are worth the wait.

4.You are a liar!

You tell someone that you are not looking for a relationship and you obviously are but you dont want them to think you are too forward. Stop lying to people about your expectations. Tell them what you want from them and if they are capable of meeting what you need, than its ok. They aren't for you.

5. You dont have a pot to piss in!

You can not expect someone to do for you what you cant do for yourself. Have your own degree. Your own job. Your own hobbies and friends. Dont think you deserve someone better than you. Make sure you're your best, and they will mirror what they see.

..another moment in you gravity

I still feel you here....holding me without touch...keeping me without chains. This may be the most beautiful song about being so attached to someone who you wish you could forget and unattach yourself from. Something always bring me back to you...i think everyone has that one person we wish we never met because they have a hold on us beyond our control. We think about them uncontrollably and if its not one thing its another..why they still live between our ears. We try our very hardest to forgive them and forget what they were but at one point they meant the world..and they still do. They still mean everything to us regardless to what they have done and couldnt want anything more than to forget they ever existed. There are moments where we stand so tall like nothing happened until we drown in that feeling that brings us back to our knees. I love this song tho..even tho the same person pops into my mind every single time i hear this song and i wish he didnt..this song expresses my exact feelings. I dont want to fall another moment in his gravity. 

Welcome to the G.O.O.D life

..the only thing i wish..i wish a Nigga would. LOL one of my favorite lines in a song but thats not what this entry is about. This entry is about introducing YOU to the GOOD LIFE...i am the good life FYI! You know how they say "dont Try to keep up with the Joneses," well I've got news for you..I AM the Joneses! Not like the way you are thinking. Not buy money and material items..but because I AM the best of His creations. So some people who read my blogs may not know me personally..or someone may want to know more about me so I decided to write this to allow you to pick my brain just a little...

I dont believe in horoscopes but i do act alot like how LEOS are said to act...
I am a little self-centered...not that much tho :-) But I dont demand attention from everyone..only ones that matter. And if i think you are unworthy of my time i could careless about the attention you give me.

I have the ability to create my own ideas and generate my own thoughts so I dont need anyone to think for me. I love that about me because in a world where everyone wants to be someone else..i just want to be me.

I have a poor sense of humor. I mean i am funny..but I laugh at stuff alot of people probably wouldnt.

Reading is essential to my life..

I am a sucker for romance. I watch too many love stories..and Ive been read too many fairytales about prince charming that i believe he exist. (Thank God my parents never let me believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny because my life would be a wreck at this point)

I use History as a way to determine the likelihood of the happenings in the future. If you screw me over..i prolly wont want to have you in my life anymore. Fool me once shame on you..fool me twice shame on me.

I have this weird ego. Like sometimes im way more confident than ive ever been but other times im just on my normal high. For instance..if a guy doesnt like me, my other ego will say "he must not be into girls" lol..alittle of Yeezy influenced that idea tho lol

Uggs are shoes hand crafted by GOD himself! if you dont have a pair youre not close to God!

My prototype is tall, light skin, MUSLIM man...college educated is preferred. Light skin is preferred too but I am an equal opportunity employer of the black muslim community LOL :-)

...hope this helps alittle insight..this blog was written because TALON told me i should write something like this lol (more to come later) [peyton <3]

..Love of my life

Since i was on the subject of my dad..i decided to post this video also! I danced with my dad to this song at my sweet 16! My husband has big shoes to fill but i know if he is who i imagine him to be, his feet will be too big to fit those already big shoes <3

..boundless gratitude

..i want my HUSBAND to be like my daddy! Beyonce has spoken from my <3 yet again lol...My dad has created the blueprint for my husband to construct a happy relationship between me and him. He is the closest thing to perfect when it comes to examples for other men to look and emulate him to truly show love to the women in his life. He opens our doors. Now some people say "how is that something honorable?" because it shows his respect for the woman. Whether it is freezing cold or scorching hot..if he is around my mom does not TOUCH the door handle. He carries bags. He make sure the women in his life do not struggle carrying bags. Although we are highly capable of doing for self..he makes it alot easier for us. He protects us. He wants to find out the intentions of every man in my life who seems like they may be interested. It may seem over protective but, I think its completely necessary! And this behavior is not just for my mom and I, but for my grandma, his mother in law, sister, nieces, granddaughter, daughter in law, and any other female in our presence. You can tell how a man will treat his wife by the way he treats his mother..and my dad treats them both like the queens they are. I want my husband to be like my daddy..i want my unborn son to be like my daddy [peyton]